The critic

Here's my latest painting, "Exuberance".  I'm happy with it for many reasons.
1. it has meaning to me 2. it's vibrant and different 3. it's working
But just as this was a success my other painting was not.  I started a cupcake painting

from this photo taken on my birthday at Claude's flea market with Sharon.  I loved the colors of the cupcakes on the old rusty paint cans and it started out looking like a good painting. Then it was frustrating me and like all crazy artists I let it really upset me to the point where I painted it all out.  Now that's ok actually, there's a lot of freedom in starting fresh.  But my biggest obstacle in art isn't making it, it's getting past my critic, ME.  Julia Cameron talks about the critic in her book (my bible) The Artist Way.  All artists (and most people) have a critic that tells us we aren't good enough.  I loved reading this because if I let my critic play she will rip my whole business to shreds.  Today I got so
upset I was close to tears.  Here I had done well with a painting and yet I was
punishing myself for what I didn't do.  I was mad that my cupcake painting didn't go as well, and I

then started questioning everything I was doing to the point where I thought I was a total failure.  It doens't even make sense and yet it felt so real.  It was my critic sreaming at me and it was nasty.  Why I'm sharing this is to acknowledge the gift of perservering.  I won't let my critic win, I will keep at it and I will move forward. 
Last year at this time I had just moved into my studio and I was overwhelmed at the talent around me.  The artists in the arsenal are all amazing, most of them are full time artists with shows in galleries, selling their work.  I felt
like I was in kindergarten and not even worthy of
being in the same playground.  But I didn't let it scare me off.  Now here it is almost a year later and I have a store and studio, I am trying to paint as much as possible to show for open studios.  It's been a big step and I'm already further than I would have believed possible last april.  So all this tells me is all I need to do is show up, do what I can and eventually it's going to keep leading me where I need to go.  If I think of a year from now I can't imagine where I'll be.  I want to be selling my art, making the store beautiful and making enough money to pay for it all and to be paid a 'salary' too.  It's a tall order I know but as a customer today told me "first you have to conceive it then you can achieve it."  I won't let my critic tell me my art isn't good enough to sell (it does), my shop is silly (it does this too) and I am just a wannabe (yep it even says this).  I will prove it wrong and keep perservering.  I mean what the heck else am I gonna do, quit?   No way.  I have quit so many jobs because they didn't challenge me (this always does), the boss sucks (I can't say she's always great but hey, I'm stuck with her) and the pay isn't worth it (I'm paid in many ways not always with $).  So I know I have found the right venue.  Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start on a clean canvas.  I can hardly wait..............

Exuberance

This picture captures a wonderful moment.  I am going to paint it and call it "Exuberance".  Here's the funny part....why?  Because I like it.  Plain and simple.  Will it sell? Don't know.  Will it be liked?  Don't know.  Will anyone get it?  Don't know.  I don't know what people want when it comes to art, there is such a huge range of tastes.  Some people like modern, some like impressionism, some like realism, some like nature, some like geometric.  Who knows what it's all about when it comes down to it.  I keep it simple.  I paint what I like.  Just like I have a shop that I like.  Maybe someone else will like it too.  That's my business plan.  Not very glamorous, or very impressive but it works for me.  Will it work for the long haul remains to be seen.  But I don't want to over complicate things and get so bogged down with worrying about what's popular, or what sells that I loose track of the point.  What is the point you ask?  To create.  To create and put out my mark, my own expression of beauty, interest and joy.

This photo captures a joyous moment shared by my daughter and me last weekend.  We took off to our family cabin at Bass Lake just a mother daughter trip.  I am so grateful my 14 year old likes to go on these trips with me.  I have never been on a mother daughter trip with my own mother so it's sacred to me that Abby and I are so close.  On our way to the cabin we stopped at the thrift shops along the way (naturally) and this red tutu called our name.  I purchased the tutu and a sweet ole pitchfork for the studio and boy was I glad I did.  That night just as dawn was arriving we grabbed the camera and headed out for a photo shoot.  Tutu in hand we went to the beach and took amazing pictures.  The light was perfect and the tutu was a great prop.  The shot "exuberance" was our last picture of the joyous photo shoot and it captures the carefree essence that we felt perfectly.  I'm hopeful it will be a great painting.  This is how I get my art, from life, from single moments that can be frozen in time.  I love photography for the quick fix "mini painting' quality it offers.  Just 'click' and it's frozen, while painting the image is much more laborious.  That labor is a labor of love.  It's so exciting to put paint on a brush and watch it take shape on canvas.  It comes alive right before your very eyes.  I am not able to paint from my mind, I require an image and a scene to paint from.  I admire those who can freely paint from their imagination, it's a skill I don't possess at this juncture.  But perhaps it will develop in time, for now I'm content to snap images, take them to my studio and then transpose them onto canvas.  It's just so fun when it all comes together as I'm hoping it will on the red tutu.  If it does I shall post the finished piece.  If it's just something I love and it doesn't sell or interest anyone else I will put on my wall at home and smile.  It will always remind me of that magic day when we played merrily on the beach.  That is what art is for me.

Chez Panisse and gardens

Although the weather was frightful the day was splendid, thanks to Linda and Chez Panisse in Berkeley. This restaurant is THE place to go thanks to it's owner Alice Waters. Alice Waters, chef, author, and the proprietor of Chez Panisse, is an American pioneer of a culinary philosophy that maintains that cooking should be based on the finest and freshest seasonal ingredients that are produced sustainably and locally. She is a passionate advocate for a food economy that is “good, clean, and fair.” Over the course of nearly forty years, Chez Panisse has helped create a community of scores of local farmers and ranchers whose dedication to sustainable agriculture assures the restaurant a steady supply of fresh and pure ingredients. In 1996, Waters’s commitment to education led to the creation of The Edible Schoolyard at Berkeley’s Martin Luther King, Jr., Middle School: a one-acre garden, an adjacent kitchen-classroom, and an “eco-gastronomic” curriculum. By actively involving a thousand students in all aspects of the food cycle, The Edible Schoolyard is a model public education program that instills the knowledge and values we need to build a humane and sustainable future. The program is nationally recognized for its efforts to integrate gardening, cooking, and sharing school lunch into the core academic curriculum. Alice established the Chez Panisse Foundation in 1996 to support the Schoolyard and encourage similar programs that use food traditions to teach, nurture, and empower young people. The success of The Edible Schoolyard led to the School Lunch Initiative, whose national agenda integrates a nutritious daily lunch and gardening experience into the academic curriculum of all public schools in the United States.

So that gives you some background on the food of this restaurant, it's all organic, all fresh and all exquisite. I took pictures of everything (naturally) and the colors of the food were as striking as their flavors. I started with a beet and avocado salad that was a visual feast as well as flavorful one. I was engrossed in the remaining oil and beet combination seeing the plate as a real masterpiece. Shame they had to wash it off, it could've been 'framed'. My main course was the halibut with spinach, artichokes, meyer lemon, and chervil. Light, simple, delicate and perfect. The rhubarb tart with vanilla bean ice cream was the grand finale to be sure. The colors of this dish again dazzled me and they even gave me a candle with a "Happy Birthday" banner. I floated out of this haven, literally feeling a buzz from the good food and good times. Sadly Linda had to go back to work but we did stop off at her house to photograph her garden in all it's splendor. Linda is a master gardener, she takes care of the whole garden by herself and let me tell you this is a big garden. I had a field day taking pictures and I was tromping about in my white pants and beige boots in the puddles and rain. Too funny! A delightful day and one I won't soon forget. I must go back to Chez Panisse and for any of you who have yet to go I highly recommend it. Just don't forget to bring your camera. Thanks Linda for a fantastic lunch!

Pet Portraits

Here are my most recent pet portraits. I was commissioned by my friend Cathy DuPuis via facebook (I love my facebook) to paint her whole pet family. This was my first time painting cats, I thought it'd be super easy as cats are more angular but it was harder than I thought. My favorite one is the cocker spaniel painting. I like how it's loose and reminiscent of a paint by numbers. The pet portraits have been a great experience. What started out as a whim has really blossomed into a viable market. People love their pets and they are a part of our families so why not have a painting of them? I have yet to tackle people portraits. All in good time, for now I'll enjoy doing animals, they don't talk back, they are always happy and they have fun fur. Humans can't touch that.

Tuesday with Kae, Abby and Olivia

Today was a birthday play date for Kae and I and we happily included Abby and her friend Olivia to join the festivities. We went to Piedmont to explore and shop, two things we do very well, and I had never been to Piedmont so I was intrigued to explore this new town. Piedmont is near Berkeley, Rockridge and Oakland. It's an upscale town with a rich history and the downtown had plenty of cute shops. We started at a retro looking shop where I got the most sparkly, drop dead, gorgeous earrings that you've ever seen. Next, we went to our most favorite place, the thrift shop, this one is a "Discovery" thrift, proceeds helping the American Cancer Society. They had amazing merchandise and a fabulous white hat that tempted me, but it's price was too steep ($45). After the thrift we went to an antique shop that was PACKED with stuff everywhere, it was kind of creepy to be honest and we kept going up more and more flights of stairs to more and more piles of stuff. I marveled at how they sell anything, it was so dark, creepy and sad. Of course this made it an adventure and we love the unexpected like creepy antique shops... But happily we left to the beautiful flower shop and another blingy jewelry store with fun hats. I loved the blue one with flowers but again too pricey for me (this one was $105.00!) We left Piedmont and decided to travel to Rockridge, all of 5 miles or so and had lunch at Pasta Pomodoro. Kae had all the party supplies, a party "Queen" crown, party horns, sparklers and even a cupcake in her bag of tricks!! She's like the ultimate bag lady, you never know what she's packin'! Our waiter "DJ" was a hoot, he joined our frivilous mood and showered us with great service. After all this we shopped some more, after all there were a few more thrift shops and we had another hour before we had to head back. Armed with packages we came home and unloaded our treasures. Another over the top birthday celebration for the hip chick. It just amazes me how much goodness is around....

Abby's birthday, fun customers and random pics

Last week was a big week in our household, we have our anniversary, my birthday and Abby's birthday all within days of each other. I showed all the gluttony of my birthday and our anniversary so now it's time to show some of Abby's celebration. My sweet daughter Abby turned 14 on April 2nd and she got 'kidnapped' by her friends at 7am and taken to breakfast. (This is a new 'norm' for teens) Then she went to school and came home with many cakes from all her friends, she went to see the new Miley Cyrus movie "The Last Song" and then Ben and I took her out to her favorite Thai restaurant for dinner. She opened pressies and got plenty of goodies. The next day was her birthday party, she wanted to go to Great America and she invited 3 friends and they rode on rides all day. Not my idea of fun but they all had a blast, Kendyl, Marina and Ashly all came over after and had cake and ice cream, they went to the hot tub (a birthday tradition) and had a sleepover. So Abby had quite a celebration herself!

Saturday at the store was quiet til about 3:00 and then Megan Freedman walks in with her bright clothes and smile and lit up the place. I grabbed my camera of course and took some pics, she matched the store so well and she purchased a wall sconce that fit perfectly with her dark corner. Yipee! Just before closing, in walked a fun family who was attending a nearby wedding and Lucy found some bling to compliment her outfit. Lucy, Patrick and Marty hammed it up for the camera before heading back to enjoy their festivities.

Easter was a wash of a day as it was raining all day, and Ben had to go on a trip. Abby and I just hung out and I finished two more pet portraits for Cathy DuPuis. I have done 5 in all as she has commissioned me to do her whole pet family. I am pleased to be able to paint her 'children' for her, I love painting people's animals as they are so much a part of our families. Now I am going to build a series for open studios, I might do some more trucks, or countryside paintings, along with some giant flowers. I know one thing, I will be busy creating as that is what this hip chick likes best!

Rain, Rain, GO AWAY!

Rain, Rain GO AWAY!! This hip chick is a fair weather girl to be sure. I say when it's sunny, I'm sunny...when it's cloudy I'm cloudy....basically I am a tried and true California girl. I could never do harsh winters in the East, in England or places where they have actual 'winter'. So I was GRUMPY yesterday with the torrential storm that blew through, freezing my ass, blowing the cow hook off my door and breaking it and generally making my mood as gloomy as the skies. Phew. Just need to get that off my chest. So after this next rain, which I am dreading...rain on Easter? I am ready for the sun, for which we pay top dollar as Californians, to shine....On a frivolous note I have some fun new sundresses I want to wear, wildflowers I want to shoot and suntans I want to absorb. hahaha.. I know it's the weather and what can you do, right? I marvel at people who actually enjoy the gloom and rain. I mean a day of rain ok fine, but we have had BUCKETS and not a week off for quite awhile. I'm just saying "Mother Nature thanks, we're good now." For today I will enjoy? the gray skies and chilly temperatures as a respite from the howling wind of yerterday. Maybe I can even open my doors at the shop? I know, now I'm talking CRAZY!