Friday, January 29, 2010


What can I say about's complicated to be sure. I have actually been married for 18years which is nothing short of miraculous. I don't think I'm the married type and yet obviously here I am, married. I knew my husband as friends first and we had fun partying together back in the 80's, then years later we ran into each other at The Chart House and I saw him differently, as someone I could 'date'. So we went out and have been together ever since. All together 23 years, half of our lives. What's so mind blowing about it is I had never really had a long term boyfriend as I wasn't the 'commitment' type. I still struggle with the confinement aspect to be honest, the constant negotiations and power struggles. It's very exhausting. And I think we probably have a better than average marriage so that's what's funny. It's just so tiresome being with someone day in and day out I don't care who you are. The only person that I don't get sick of is my children and that's because they are my children. (and to be fair sometimes they even get on my nerves...) So the difficulty lies in keeping things fresh, exciting, fun and light after all the years of responsibility take hold. I know this sounds rather drab, and yet is is accurately honest. I know there are good days where I can't wait to see him and we just click but I forget those when the struggles are in my view. Neither one of us are quitters and that has saved us on many an occasion to be sure, we both want to make it work. The trouble is sometimes trying too hard makes it's own kind of trouble. Then it feels forced, unauthentic and awkward. So time to let go and let God, to focus on the good and let it be. I'm a fixer and I want to make it all better right now. It's not so simple sometimes. Sometimes the solution is in not doing something and that's what I am going to try. I would love to hear from anyone who cares to share their experiences with marriage, it's quite a topic!!!!


  1. Well Carrie, my husband and I have been married for 44 years and I'm not sure what it is that makes it work. Some luck is involved. We grew in the same direction and we have never had expectations of how a marriage should be. We love each other but we give each other lots of space.
    That's about it. Love, respect and just doing what we have to do. Life is short. You can't always have what you want but you can love what you have.

  2. Lord knows that Abby and I are more glad than anyone on the planet that you've kept it going for all these years! It's quite the blessing to have parents who are together and love each other in this day and age of Britney Spears' type marriages and Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancies. Isn't it convenient I can just reference one family?