Friday, January 29, 2010
What can I say about marriage...it's complicated to be sure. I have actually been married for 18years which is nothing short of miraculous. I don't think I'm the married type and yet obviously here I am, married. I knew my husband as friends first and we had fun partying together back in the 80's, then years later we ran into each other at The Chart House and I saw him differently, as someone I could 'date'. So we went out and have been together ever since. All together 23 years, half of our lives. What's so mind blowing about it is I had never really had a long term boyfriend as I wasn't the 'commitment' type. I still struggle with the confinement aspect to be honest, the constant negotiations and power struggles. It's very exhausting. And I think we probably have a better than average marriage so that's what's funny. It's just so tiresome being with someone day in and day out I don't care who you are. The only person that I don't get sick of is my children and that's because they are my children. (and to be fair sometimes they even get on my nerves...) So the difficulty lies in keeping things fresh, exciting, fun and light after all the years of responsibility take hold. I know this sounds rather drab, and yet is is accurately honest. I know there are good days where I can't wait to see him and we just click but I forget those when the struggles are in my view. Neither one of us are quitters and that has saved us on many an occasion to be sure, we both want to make it work. The trouble is sometimes trying too hard makes it's own kind of trouble. Then it feels forced, unauthentic and awkward. So time to let go and let God, to focus on the good and let it be. I'm a fixer and I want to make it all better right now. It's not so simple sometimes. Sometimes the solution is in not doing something and that's what I am going to try. I would love to hear from anyone who cares to share their experiences with marriage, it's quite a topic!!!!
Posted by Carrie Clayden at 10:36 PM
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
This is January and the beginning of a new year, full of possibilities. Yes there are many tragedies happening in the world, but this is always the case. I choose to focus my intentions on things I can contribute to and make better. I can't tackle the world and all it's problems, but I can try to make my life the life I dream of. I can focus my intentions on good and then good shows up for me. It's uncanny how I have had this happen over and over again. It's not to say that I deserve more than anyone else, I just show up and put out what I want, and it comes back to me. I believe in this wholeheartedly, it works when you trust it. So what are my intentions for the year 2010? To grow creatively and prosper professionally. To love deeply and fully. To maintain good health and balance in my mind and body. To give more in my marriage (don't tell Ben, he doesn't read this anyway...) , to try new things I wouldn't ordinarily try (hot air ballooning for starters). to keep my artist fed and seeking new projects, to take advantage of all the opportunities that come my way, to give back whenever I can, to be grateful and ever aware that this is all a journey and I'm just along for the ride. This is my focus. I'd love to hear what yours is. Today I am going to the studio and I can't wait. I love the crossing of the bridge, looking over the water to the horizon knowing I get to go to my creative hideaway. I am greeted by my cheery decor and good vibes upon entry and then I get to see what the day holds. Some days it's quiet and I putter, paint and reflect. Other days I meet people who I never knew, I chat and make a sale or two. The joy is in the unexpected unfolding of the day. So off I go to see what this day will present, I hope it's a good one for you too.........
Posted by Carrie Clayden at 9:05 AM
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Not much to write about today but I thought it's been a few days and I should probably say something....so "something". hahaha. It's a football fest at the house so I'm escaping to the movies. Going to see A Single Man with Colin Firth. I know it's good from reviews and reading about the story. Tom Ford the fashion designer directed it and it mirrors his life, coming out in NY as a young gay man in the 70's. I squeezed in a run so I can eat my popcorn guilt free and I'll sneak in my soda and chocolate. My first week at the shop was quiet I must say, the weather was defintely a factor as it was a torrential downpour most days. Saturday was nice and I had some lovely ladies come and buy goodies. My favorite happening was from "Cathy" a woman I just met who bought 2 paint by number pictures from the 60's. She was saying how the colors in them were her favorites, turquiose, white and cranberry but she was a little sad that the cranberry was so dull. I had my palette out and offered to spice it up with some fresh red and she was SO happy. You'd of thought I painted her a masterpiece, she was so excited. So it's the little things that happen in the day, the small ways of making another person happy that truly make it a success. Hope you are all having a good Sunday and I hope to see you soon at the shop!!!
Posted by Carrie Clayden at 1:35 PM