Thursday, May 26, 2011

Art isn't always happy

Today I had a heavy heart.  We had a tragedy in our community when Allison Bayliss took her life on Monday by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.  This is unimaginable to me.  How does a 15 year old think life is too painful and the only answer is ending it?  Depression? Pressure? Hormones? Family strife? Friend trouble?  Bullies?  I don;t think we'll ever know and it scares the hell out of me.  My daughter was classmates with Alliy and in girl scouts in third grade.  She had a 'normal' life, good family, etc.  Then one day she snapped, obviously.  She meticulously planned her demise.  It's horrific.  So with a heavy heart I sat at the shop and thought about what to create and I made this piece

"never good enough"
this was inspired by recent events.  I had the image of a little girl and I painted her not knowing what I would use her for.  I already had the wings cut out from my 'brave girl' online class and they say all sorts of things like' never finishes the laundry', spills things, eats too much candy etc... and I liked the idea of using them as wings with a woman to represent labels we place on ourselves.  As a looked at the little girl I thought about how women pressure themselves and never give themselves enough credit.  We are just never enough.  Universally I think women feel that way, and it's so sad.  WHY?  Why aren't we enough?  We do it all.  We are MORE than enough and yet most women are insecure.  I bet 9 out of 10 women would say they don't feel like they measure up somehow....so this piece is representing of that message.  The image of the young girl surrounded by women represent the innocence of youth and the ignorance of 'measuring up' to the pressures of being a woman.  The tape measure is symbolic of measuring ourselves on a scale of 1 to 10 and the wire surrounding the image is how we trap ourselves with this pressure.  The hand has a key just outside the 'cage' and just outside of reach...symbolising the never ending reaching that women endure to be perfect.  I love this piece.  I have put it in my house and it has a lot of meaning to me.  It isn't a happy piece, but it is powerful and it reminds me to be 'enough' all the time.  I don't want to be "never good enough" and I admit I can fall into that trap at times.  I can look at my art and think "big deal Carrie, you call yourself an artist?", only REAL artists show their work in galleries and get paid BIG money....." but I also know that is toxic, and negative and down right MEAN, and I shouldn't talk to myself that way.  But I am human and it happens.  I am sharing this because art is raw.  Art is exposing yourself through all kinds of mediums.  Words, images, pictures, whatever.  The most powerful art is an expression of emotions.  So I can't be afraid of showing them, good or bad.  To be an artist, one has to be brave.  This much I know.  I must fight against the critic, the 'not good enough' voices, and do it anyway.  I know my little creations matter.  The smallest gesture can make a difference to others.  Just like this blog post.  This post might inspire another, it might really strike a chord with someone, and I'll never know.  If I don't put myself out there, I definitely won't help.  I know I help people just by doing what I believe in.  This motivates me.  This keeps me blogging, posting, creating, suiting up and showing up when I get no customers, or have no sales.  I create anyway.  It's enough.  And you are enough.  I appreciate YOU.  You took the time to read my blog, to care about what I'm doing and that is incredibly valuable to me.  I thank you.  Please leave me comments if you have something to share, I LOVE hearing from you.....

7 comments:

  1. I like that you made something in memory of the child and it is a sweet piece too. It comes from an artful soul.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sexy Desi Indian girlfriend Mansi kissing and hardcore fucked with her lover nude photos at home


      Desi Punjabi College Girl With Her boyfriend sex pics


      Sunny Leone Erotic Poses Spreading pussy Seducing porn Tube


      Pakistani Lahore girl showing her hairy pussy hole nude photo


      Mumbai Newly Married Bhabhi Sexy Shots 3 video


      Mumbai Newly Married Aunty Sexy Shots : 50 PICS


      Surabhi Aunty Hot pose Bedroom Erotic Collection


      Desi School Girl Nude Images Exposing Big Juicy boobs and Pussy


      Arab Girls have Big Ass : Perfect shaped Arab girls Rare Fucking Image


      Desi Indian maid girl fully nude bath at bathroom nude photos


      Hot sexy Arab girl strip clothes and showing her tits Pussy hole nude photos


      Bangladeshi husband and Wife in Bedroom having sex pics


      Tamil House Wife Open Her Pussy And Fingering


      Nagma Full Nude Image Showing Big boobs and Pussy


      Sweet actress Alia Bhatt showing her hot big boobs pics and Shaved Pussy


      Japani College Girl Having Sex with her teacher


      Katrina Kaif Enjoying Going Totally Naked and Getting Fucked by a Foreigner Man Enjoying His Lund Inside Her Tight Ass


      Hot Telugu Aunties Big Ass Fucking And Wet Pussy Hidden Cam Video


      Muslim Girl First Time Sex Video Captured By Her Boy Friend


      Pakistani Aunty Farzana Caught While She Sex With Her Son Friend


      Indian Mallu Aunty And Bhabhi Penis Sucking Blowjob 100 Plus Wallpapers


      Porn Star Priya Rai Boobs Fucking Porn tube


      Anushka Sharma Totally Nude Enjoying Cock Penetration in Her Wet Pussy


      Veena Malik Nude Showing Her Pussy And Soft Boobs Photos


      Hina Khan Doing Sex With Her Driver


      Tamil Village Aunties Fucking P)hotos in Saree


      Sexy Pakistani aunties pussy photo Gallery Cute Sexy Girls Boobs Fucking


      Sunny Leone Doing Group Sex In Toilet


      Dellhi Poor Girl Fucking On Camera For Money


      Pakistani Sexy Bhabhi Remove Bra Showing Big Milk


      Desi Mallu Bhabhi Open her Dark Pussy And Big Fat Ass

      Delete
  2. Oh Carrie!!! You blew me away with this one!!! I just love it and you are one of my inspirations=) I will never forget our conversations at your shop and will always remember what you have said to me!!! It's soo weird because I was actually feeling that way today & I so happened to go on your blog & read this! That is an Awesome piece with sooo much meaning to!! I'm gonna visit you soon!<3

    Love,
    Jailyn

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this piece, Carrie. It has understanding and empathy and wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing it!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AWESOME ART - THOUGHTS - INSPRIRATION - TRUTH - AWARENESS - HOW I VALUE YOUR ABILITY TO PLACE THOUGHTS ON PAPER AND CREATE --- HERE TO SAY ---YOU ARE ENOUGH AND MORE!!!!!!!!!LOVE YOU - KAE

    ReplyDelete
  5. A wonderful piece and your thoughts are true.This was especially poignant for me as today I attended the cremation of a relative who also took their own life.

    ReplyDelete